*THE PASTOR WHO TAUGHT THE MARRIED ABOUT PRAYER*
Benson and his wife don't sit next to each other during Church services.
Even when going to Church services, they go in different vehicles; and when they travel in the same car, it is usually a very quiet and uncomfortable ride.
Benson sat at his usual spot in the Church service; the fourth line on the far left row. His wife sat on the center row.
The Pastor took to the podium.
*"Husbands, stop wasting your time praying"* the Pastor began.
The congregants got alarmed. No one expects to hear a pastor saying prayer is a waste of time.
I am not here to discourage you to pray, but to encourage you to pray right.
Husbands, stop wasting your time praying if you are not treating your wives well.
The Word says that when you treat your wife badly, it hinders your prayers. Men, you claim to be prayerful.
You come to church driving your expensive cars, giving your offerings and tithes, active in Church, some of you are Church leaders; but how are you treating your wife?
You may look good to us Church members, but it is your wife and children that know who you truly are" said the Pastor.
Benson turned to face his wife. She looked at him. Benson could see her eyes.
Her left eye swollen from the blow he gave her last week when she confronted him about his alcoholism, pornography use and mischievous behavior.
People couldn't tell she had a black eye because of the make up she had on, so well done.
The Pastor continued, "People have perfected the art of cover up. Here in Church, so many are hurting but you wouldn't know.
People come here wearing their nice clothes, shiny smiles, they are active in ministry but hurting a lot in their marriage.
"We have become numb and plastic, brushing things under the carpet. But today we shall heal; and shall address those wounds we hide."
The Pastor cleared his throat and continued, "Many of those who are hurting their spouses are using the church to hide.
They think that because they give offering s and tithes, because they make public prayers, because they read the Word or because they hold a Church leadership position that they are right with God. God is also interested in what you do in your marriage and in your family.
"Your first ministry is your home. Stop trying to blackmail God with your service in Church yet you are mean and hurtful towards your spouse."
Many of the members of the congregation got restless and unsettled.
The Pastor continued, "Many of those who are being hurt by their spouse hide their pain and want to project an image that all is well to validate that they are blessed and in control.
Some of you are active in Church to run away from the pain in your marriages".
The congregation was silent. Some straightening their ties, others fidgeting with their Bibles, adjusting their sitting position.
This pastor was preaching truth and it was uncomfortable.
The Pastor continued, "The husbands are not the only ones guilty here... Wives, don't you know the Word says when your husband found you he found good virtuous woman and you brought favour?
Then why are you the source of your husband's headache and stress? Have you been so toxic that you have turned your prayerful husband into a prayer-less one?
Do you make him regret marrying you because you bring more complications than he had before marrying you?
How you treat your husband can be a stumbling block in his walk with God or an environment that encourages growth.
Many of you wives married your individual husbands primarily because of their relationship with God, so why are you now destroying their relationship with God instead of celebrating and nurturing it?
Why are you being a burden to your husband emotionally, spiritually, socially, sexually and financially instead of being one who brings favour?"
Benson's wife looked at her husband. Benson looked at her, and she looked away.
The Pastor paused to drink his glass of water.
The Pastor continued, "When I am thirsty, I drink a glass of water.
When your spouse gets thirsty, will you allow God to use you to bless your spouse?
You've been told many sermons that focus on you as an individual, that God will make you prosper as an individual.
I am here to tell you your blessings are tied to people, you are blessed to be a blessing to others. Our God is not an individualistic God.
Your blessing is tied to your marriage, your family. It's not about you; it is about Jesus and Jesus is about love.
What good is it to prosper and be successful when you have no love? It is all vanity.
God cares about your family, how you treat your spouse and children"
Silence.
"Yes, we pray. But what kind of prayers does your spouse pray because of you?
When your spouse prays, is it largely to cry to God because of the hurt you bring?
Is it to plead with God to change you from the monster you've become?
Is it to plead for grace to deal with how difficult you are? Or is to give thanks for you?"
Silence.
"Are you really prayerful? Do you really value prayer?
Then why is it that many of you find it easy to come to us pastors for us to pray with you as an individual, you find it is easy to pray in public, in a Church service or Bible study, but find it so hard to pray with your spouse?
Isn't that telling of what is going on in your marriage? Don't you know that the more you pray with your spouse the stronger your marriage will be?
But how can you find it easy to pray with a spouse you hurt or who hurts you?"
The Pastor paused and looked at the congregation. Eyes staring at him.
"I challenge you. I challenge you to pray with your spouse and to treat your spouse well.
Husbands, you are the head of the home. I challenge you to stand up and go to where your wife is and pray with her as a start of a more prayerful chapter in your marriage.
Don't do it because I asked you to but because you want to. Your choice"
One by one, the husbands present stood up.
Benson stood up too.
Benson walked to where his wife was.
The face of Benson's wife overwhelmed with love, she looked on as her husband walked to her.
She almost stood up but he gave hand gestures at her to stay seated.
Benson reached where she sat. Their eyes met.
Benson knelt down. He stared at her then kissed her swollen left eye.
"I am sorry" he said.
"Can I pray with you?" He asked.
She got up from her seat and knelt down too.
There, on the floor as the Church service was still ongoing, husbands prayed with their wives.
Benson prayed kneeling with his wife.
They prayed for forgiveness, for thanksgiving, for love, for renewal, for peace, for direction; for their marriage.
Marriages were healed.
If You have been blessed by this message please share. You might just be saving a marriage at the verge of being broken.
OPINIONS
Wonderful piece, but lacks depth of insight.
Adam was not busy at work when the serpent received eve. It is good to read the script in context.
Read Genesis 3 and in verse 6 you will see:
The woman could see that the tree was beautiful and the fruit looked so good to eat. She also liked the idea that it would make her wise. So she took some of the fruit from the tree and ate it. Her husband was there with her, so she gave him some of the fruit, and he ate it.
Genesis 3:6 ERV
Her husband was there with her...
The main issue in most marriages is that the man focuses on other things instead of full-focus on God. Once we use our five senses to perceive rather than through the spirit, that ugly incident in Eden will be repeated any time.
The beginning of verse 6 confirms that the woman could see that...this was living by sight as opposed by living by Faith.
Faith is simply seeing through God, His Word and by His Spirit!
We live by what we believe will happen, not by what we can see.
2 Corinthians 5:7 ERV
For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.
Romans 1:17 KJV
With regards to the part of the Constitution that was referred to in the post which says "whatever you bind...", may we look at it in full:
I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
Matthew 16:19 NIV
This was also re-echoed again in 18th Chapter:
“Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Matthew 18:18 NIV
But we often quote it out of context and as most people have experienced, it does not really work.
Without the Keys of the Kingdom, you cannot bind and the Headquarters will back you up.
One of the Keys of the Kingdom is called *Obedience*.
Note this: And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.
2 Corinthians 10:6 NIV
Another Key is called *Righteousness*. No matter the boundary a man builds and lacks these keys, the serpent will have him/her for breakfast any time.
Check this Constitutional statement: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:33-34 NIV
The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness! No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Matthew 6:22-24 KJV
Finally, the whole drama in Eden was allowed by God, as He has made a way out before/from the foundations of the world as we can see:
Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot: Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you.
1 Peter 1:18-20 KJV
And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.
Revelation 13:8 KJV
Therefore, I tell you this so that no one can fool you by telling you ideas that seem good, but are false. Be sure you are not led away by the teaching of those who have nothing worth saying and only plan to deceive you. That teaching is not from Christ. It is only human tradition and comes from the powers that influence this world.
Colossians 2:4, 8 ERV
~ Bro. Caleb N. N ~
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